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Bless His Scheming Heart by cameowitch
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Author's Notes:
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Thanks to Keikokin for the help and beta reading.


Bless his Scheming Heart

Chapter 1 How Was A Man to Cope

Severus Snape was annoyed and that was not a good thing, just ask anyone who knew him.

Severus strode through the halls of Hogwarts. This was not unusual. The scowl on his face was not unusual. The only thing someone would say was out of place was the fire in his eyes. Severus had calmed down after the defeat of Voldemort some seven years previous and shocked everyone with the humor and caring that had long been buried in his service as a spy.

Severus was finally to the point where he had to take matters into his own hands. The two causing him consternation were more likely to squabble like children younger than they were teaching. Just one day, Severus would like to get through just one day without having to listen to one or the other complain about the other.

Severus had learned planning and scheming at the feet of a master, one Albus Dumbledore. He missed matching wits with the man and was at times envious of him. Don’t forget Minerva he had to remind himself. The two characters, as he affectionately referred to them, had retired from Hogwarts a year after Voldemort’s defeat. He had been trained well by both of them and when Severus married they felt the time was right to move on with their lives. Albus and Minerva informed the Board of Governors of their choice for Headmaster and Headmistress. There was no dissent among them. All remembered Severus hard work for the Light and as for the Headmistress, who better than his wife. All remembered the young witch, quick with an answer and love for the potions master that she never let show during school years. Yes, they had no problem having Hermione Granger-Snape as Deputy Headmistress. She would be the perfect balance for Severus. That was all history and he had to deal with the present problems that plagued him.

Severus entered the corridor that he had patrolled for years, constant vigilance for any student who was getting out of hand. Today he would be “visiting” his old classroom to meet with the current professor. He sighed. Why did his life have to get complicated because two adults could not talk to each other out of fear? He was almost to the point of firing both of them or at least telling them to get over themselves.

Severus knocked on the door he had closed and warded many times and waited. Finally, the door opened and he walked into the room, the smells reminding him of his first love — potions. “Professor, I need a few minutes of your time if you think you could possibly spare it? There is a matter that has come to my attention, albeit late, that I have to intervene in against the better judgement of myself and the Deputy Headmistress.” The professor stopped all actions and looked at the Headmaster. “Ah, I see you still respond to my wife, how very..Gryffindor of you. Come, offer me a drink and we will began what I have to do in a more comfortable environment.” The professor looked to his headmaster and hung his head and pulled out a large bottle of Firewhiskey that was mostly gone and two glasses.

“What can I do for you Headmaster?” The voice had deepened over the years and Severus tried to hear the young man he used to know in it. It was there, just hidden. “Harry, I know this is distasteful to you since it’s setting like a rotting hippogriff in my stomach, but you have to do something now. I know you and the DADA professor are having problems. I’ve heard it from both of you everyday for the past, well, longer than I care to remember. Nothing is being resolved and both of you are driving Hermione and me quietly insane worrying over you. You two have even affected the children with your doom and gloom. They don’t want to come to class with either of you anymore. It’s worse than when I was a teaching. Can’t you see your way to at least talking to the professor? Maybe work this animosity out? Don’t let it escape you Harry, I guarantee you will rue it for life if you let it go without at least an attempt.” Severus was tired of talking.

Harry took a large drink from his glass of firewhiskey and looked at Severus. “Sev, I’ve sent owls, I’ve sent letters, I’ve sent chocolates and roses and everything I thought might open the door for me. Hell, I even sent a bottle of Firewhiskey. What do I get for my troubles? You down here busting my stones because your friend is a stubborn jackass and won’t talk to me.”

Severus was past being vexed. He took a paper out of this robe pocket and extended it to Harry. “Take this. We are sending you out for the evening so the children can eat in peace and have at least one happy evening. This is not optional. Dress comfortably and for warm turning to cool weather. Be ready by 7 P.M. You will know where you are when you get there. I have enchanted the ticket so it cannot be removed by anyone but myself. You cannot just lie it down and walk away from it. I am sorry it had to come to this Harry, but we, all of us at Hogwarts, consider you one of ours and you are hurting so we hurt. We will help you through it whether you like it or not. Enjoy yourself this evening and I will not see you before dinner in the great hall tomorrow night. Is that clear?” Severus set his glass down and left the dungeons; one down, one to go.

Severus made his way further into the bowels of Hogwarts. His destination in mind, he let his feet lead while his thoughts roamed. Lucius Malfoy, his friend, his mentor, closest thing to a brother he had left on this planet was in pain and it was hurting Severus more than he would let anyone know, including his wife. At one time many years ago, Severus thought he and Lucius may have been lovers, but he married Narcissa Black. He was honored to be the godfather to their only child, Draco Malfoy, and the bond between the men only strengthened over time trying to help their world be a fit place for their Draco. Yes, Severus felt as if Draco were also his son and would move heaven and earth to help him too. Draco was the last straw in this little fiasco they embroiled him in.

Draco had come to him two days ago in tears. It tore his heart apart to hear his “son” grieve for the happiness of his father. He was realistic enough to know that his father had not been happy with his mother and when Lucius finally had found someone after she died, he still couldn’t be happy. “Uncle Severus, can’t you please do something for them? They are tearing each other apart day by day. It’s bothering everybody and I can’t take it anymore. You have no idea how hard it is for me not to go to the dungeons and hex that impossible Gryffindor straight back to his tower and chain him there to rot. I can’t stand what he is doing to father. Uncle, please fix it or I will.” Draco sat in Severus office and waited for an answer as the Headmaster pondered his options. With a sigh, he placed a hand on the young man’s shoulder and picked up a plate. “Donut? Draco, I’m aware of the situation from both parties and they are about to drive me around the bend. I will give them one more day to work it out. If they haven’t come the second day, I will put into motion something that will fix this one way or another. Go home and rest. Uncle Severus is here and will fix it.”

Severus didn’t bother knocking on the closed DADA classroom door. He said the unlocking spells and opened the door and sailed in with a swirl of his robes. “Lucius, a word please.” And so it all began again in this room. “Talk to him… Bothering all the children…hurt for you and him…” Severus just went on in the same vein, even down to the paper he pulled out of his robe pocket and placed in Lucius’ hand with the same speech he had given Harry. He turned and made his way to his office to deal with whatever had happened while he was visiting the two men at Hogwarts that were in worse shape than a lovesick second year. He shook his head and took the winding stairs to his office.

Later that evening there were two distinctive pops heard from the dungeon area and Severus just smiled out at the children and turned to his wife. He leaned closer to her and whispered “Excellent work on the portkeys my dear. I think this just may work or we will have to retrieve the bodies. One way or another it had to stop.”

Harry landed with a thud and on his rear. Gods, he hated portkeys. He picked himself up from where he landed on something fairly soft. He looked at his feet. Sand? He heard the unmistakable pop of another incoming portkey and moved back. His eyes widened and his jaw dropped when he looked at his fellow traveler. Lucius Malfoy. Severus had said he was there until things were worked out. He hoped Severus could get a substitute for the next decade or so or did he already have replacements in house?

Lucius landed on his feet, graceful as a cat. The first thing he saw was the sand under his feet. He looked up and his eyes widened and his jaw dropped. He regained his composure just a little quicker than Harry had. “Well Potter, I think we have finally been had by that barmy bat.” Harry could only nod in agreement.

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