No…I do not own Kingdom Hearts or whatever. Haha ya…its 2 AM and I have to get up in 4 hours…but I just felt like writing. Hopefully it's good enough even though my brain isn't functioning well since im tired. Okai! Hope u like it haha. Ya im redoing my old story…and making it better.

If Only

Drip, drip. Naminé curled herself up into a ball in the upper right corner of her bed and grasped her hands onto her legs. Warm tears poured down her cheeks and onto her white dress. White wasn't a good color to get wet, but at the time, she didn't care. Naminé felt like sitting there forever, never moving, emotionless with no heart. Why was she different from other Nobodys? Why couldn't she feel no emotion or pain like the others? She had no heart but still had feelings. And that's what drew Him to her. She felt disgusted to hear his name, so she blurred it out of her head.

Quickly, the blonde grabbed her note book and crayons, in an attempt to get the depression out of her mind. She began drawing Kairi, who was her Somebody. Kairi was Naminé's role model, if only she could be like her, a Somebody with a heart that pumped and had blood flow, a heart that could hold love inside it. They say without a heart, you can't love. Was this true? Naminé's eyes began to go out of whack and run down her face again. Drip, drip. The tears stained the lovely drawing of Kairi. Out of anger, Naminé ripped the page out and threw it in the trash shortly after crumbling it as fast as the cookie monster devoured cookies. She let out a small growl of frustration while pressing her small, pale hands against her face with immense force, hoping to rip her eyes out of her head so she was unable to cry any longer. Her complex wasn't able to take much more of this. She was too slim and was withering away as her body trembled in short spasms.

Once Naminé was able to stop crying, she leaned against the glass window and stared out into the open. Outside was freedom, and it kept calling her name, but every time she tried, she was unable to reach it. He would always find her. A group of birds sat near her window seal, calling out to her to follow. But when they saw she was unable to come along, they taunted and teased her, chirping in a mocking way like a riot, a mob of bullies throwing everything at you at once, and flew off.

The young girl closed her eyes, took a deep breath and tried to ignore the birds and everything else laughing at her. She opened the window and smelled the cool, fresh breeze of the morning. Of course, Naminé loved looking out the window. Outside had so much color, and was so full of life unlike her dull, white room that lacked color. Her eyes trailed down in the garden until she spotted Demyx, the melodious nocturne, number 9. Naminé's face turned into a weak smile. Demyx was the only thing in this life that could make her smile. They had always been best friends, he was always there for her. Even when she first came to Castle Oblivion and had no one and understood very little. He taught her everything she knows. She and Demyx had gotten so close that it seemed to be love. But what would Naminé know about love? She had no heart, how could they love each other? The smile on her face faded and she turned her head away from the window and locked her eyes on the white bed. Even so, she and Demyx could never love. Not while He was around. He always knew what she was doing. And He would punish her to no end if He knew she liked Demyx. A forbidden love. It sounded nice in a way but harsh. Why was everything she wanted forbidden?

Naminé shook her head, trying to get the thoughts to vanish. It was almost 8 and was time for her to do wake up duty and serve breakfast. She grabbed her skates, pen, paper, and apron and dashed out the door. She had to forget all this so she could do her job without distraction. The blonde skated down the hallway, knocking on every single door and yelling, "Wake up call!" while slipping a piece of paper by the door to find out what everyone wanted to eat. Then, circled back around to retrieve the papers after everyone had written what they wanted on them, and stuffed them in her apron pocket. Naminé ran to the kitchen and began to prepare breakfast while listening to her iPod. Xemnas ordered the same as usual, scrambled eggs topped with onion pieces and a side of pineapple juice. She could never understand his way of taste in the morning.

The way the table was set up was in the ascending order of the organization, Xemnas at the head of the table. Just as the table was set, Naminé had to cook their dishes in order. She got 8 plates done when the organization members began arriving. Naminé slid past the counter and placed the first 8 plates by the correct members and heard a trail of "Thank you's," in a row. As she put the 8th plate down she noticed Axel wasn't there. Of course he wasn't there! He was always late and off doing who knows what, as usual. As Naminé got back to the counter, she read number 9's paper, "Mickey Mouse Crepes!" She let out a small giggle and held her hand over her mouth to hide it from anyone hearing. Mickey Mouse Crepes today? Demyx was always so creative with his meal orders, she always had fun making his.

Naminé continued down the line and hurried herself along, making 13 plates for breakfast is pretty frickin' hard. She grabbed number 11's and 12's breakfasts, turned around and pushed off the counter with force in an attempt to go faster. Her eyes widened as before her, she saw Him, and crashed into Him, falling back and the plates flew in the air and crashed on the side.

"You stupid little girl," He said while grabbing her wrist and jerking it toward Him. Naminé' squinted and turned away, hoping He wouldn't hurt her. The first thing she noticed was the strong smell of roses. He always smelled like roses, which was the exact reason that Naminé hated them. Her eyes flickered up as she heard Him speak again, "You broke those plates! There's going to be consequences for that."

"No, I'm sorry! You were in front of me, I-I slipped!" Naminé quickly spoke, apologetically to get out of this mess without offending Him, or he might get mad.

"Marluxia!" Naminé flinched as she heard His name, and turned to see who it came from. It was the leader, Xemnas. "Leave her be and come eat."

He stared at Naminé and snarled before he turned and slowly crawled to his seat. Naminé's body began to shake but she quickly snapped out of it and cleaned the mess He caused her to make, and made the rest of the breakfast meals. She couldn't let this get to her, not right now. She was already on the verge of depression; she had to stay away from it so she wouldn't break down.

Once she was done, she let out a sigh of relief and sat in the table in the corner, separated from the big table in the middle where everyone else sat. She wasn't thought of as important enough to sit with them. Naminé kept her eyes fixed on the blank, white wall in front of her and ate a bowl of yogurt to help her stay focused. She was afraid of what He might do later. Was he mad at her? Her fingers became shaky and she had to hold the spoon with two hands in order to put the yogurt in her mouth. Naminé sighed. Another day of torture. She didn't deserve to live. Or, at least that's what He told her.