Is my wife "clingy"?

I understand both of you, your wife needs to find things she likes to do with her friends, family or even by herself! she needs to know that you guys are married now and need your "free time" but also remember that being married changes the "I's" into "US" so try to do things together also, If you are watching a game tell your buddies to bring their wifes, girlfriends over and you'll see everyone will have a good time! hope this helps! :)

Sorry man there isn't really a lot of advise to be given here. She needs to realize that you like to do things she doesn't like to do. At the same time you need to respect her desire to hang out with you.


Best answer I can come up with: you guys need to either see a marriage counselor or she needs to see a psychiatrist. It seems like shes having trust issues and unless your giving her a reason not to trust her, that means the problem is in her head.

Well it may come down to personality differences. Another man in your position may take it as a compliment that his wife wants to spend so much time with him, and there is a man out there who would probably love to spend all their time with your wife. So really, what is there to complain about?
If you have different needs it needs to be addressed, you may not be compatible, especially if there is no compromise.

She is probably being clingy, but one thing you have to understand is in the first 2 years of marriage, there will be a great deal of insecurities from both of you, this is one of hers. You need to communicate with her and tell her that you aren't leaving her out its just you need your own time to do your own things.
Does she have friends? If so encourage her to go hang out with them when you go do your thing.

being married doesn't mean you should give up your interests. do you do things with her that interest both of you? if you do then she shouldn't be upset with you. maybe to compromise with her don't do the overnight stuff anymore. maybe you should tell her to get out more and do things with her friends on her own. the world does not revolve around the hubby and wife alone. you need friends to talk to and you need to get out in the world.

Well, you knew this when you married her. I would have a question as to what you are doing with friends that you need to stay overnight somewhere. A fishing trip? Hunting trip? or are you gambling in Las Vegas? What is it? As for your question, I guess you need to reverse it to get your answer:
How would you feel if your wife went out alone or with friends and sometimes overnight?

your married you should not be out all night period she is going to leave you one day.


Stop your foolish behaivor its ok to have friends maybe go out once a month but not more then that.
If you activities include daytime stuff like golfing ect then yes it is ok to do once a week without the wife.

Your mean

I was with you up until the "overnight" part...that's a big NO in my book. Your wife is right when it comes to that part...other then that you should be able to pursue your own intrests apart from her...as long as it's not overnight....
What kind of hobby keeps you overnight anyways?

she need to realize that you want/need your own space, tell her to get herself a group of girlfriends to chill with in her lesuire time or join the gym or something; its not fair to you that u have to spend ALL your time with her just b/c she's being selfish

Married men have no business staying out all night long with their friends. Sorry, pal...you are wrong. If it's not a business trip or a planned golf outing or something to that effect where your wife is comfortable and feels respected, then you're wrong.

She sounds very "Clingy" to me. Player you are doing the best you can in this marriage. If she keeps this up she will start to alienate you from her. Get this situation handled asap before you end up in divorce court.

No she's not clingly, you are very insensitive! if you love her then you will listen when she tells you she feels rejected. Don't make yourself the victim. remember she's your wife and you need to care about her more than you do.

help her find something that she likes to do and help her to realize that just because you like to do other things does not mean that you don't love her

I think you should communicate your feeling with your wife maybe if she hears what you havee to say it may make her understand just dont exclude her from your interest just because her are different

Staying out all night isn't appropriate.

But other than that, I fully agree with you that married people need to be able to pursue interests that are different from their partner.

she needs to learn a few things. specially that she should not mind if you follow your hobby or diffrent interests. side by side you should takel her in such a way that she feels least disturbed.

Sounds like your wife needs to develop some interests of her own.
This is something that you should have discussed before you got married.

You need to find somethings that you both enjoy doing together and invest more time into your marriage and not Just yourself! Your a pair now--not a single man.

I think she's thinking you're cheating on her everytime you stay out overnight.I wouldn't stand it if my husband did like you!

Tell her she needs to find a hobby as well so that when your out she wont feel abandoned...too much time together will become a problem as well as not enough time

overnight is never good when you are married.

you should have thought about this before you took the plunge!!

Two things: first, hopefully you knew the way she was when you married her, unless this is some recent change in her that wasn't there when you married. Secondly, you are a married man with a wife, so overnights should be reserved for those special moments with your wife, not with the guys or friends! I don't think going out to a game or whatnot is wrong once in a while with friends is a big deal, but why be married then if you are feeling as though she is clingy on you? Marriage is a union of two!!!

One word: Compromise. If she's getting upset because you have other interests that she doesn't necessarily share, then that's her problem. When i was with my ex, i didn't necessarily like everything that he did, but i did them with him because he enjoyed doing those things and i wanted to enjoy them with him (ex: running, watching sporting events, playing soccer) She should be supportive with your hobbies. The only suggestion that i have would be to invite her out when you do whatever you do (if it's appropriate to take her along that is). She'll feel like you want to include her in your outside activities and even if she chooses not to take part in them, at least she knows that you wanted her to be there.

Sorry,

You just aren't cut out for marriage.

There are plenty of new age selfish women that would love to married to you while you see each other casually and have affairs and divorce after 7 years.

But certainly don't get married to someone more 'traditional' that values commitment.

Either stop what you are doing, or rethink your core values and if she shares them.

Again, there are plenty of selfish women who have their own hobbies that they would glady place over spending time with you. You would likely be more compatible than your wife.

Believe me when I tell you that marriage is very hard work, don't make it harder on her and yourself, I think you should know better than to stay out all night long with friends and then you expect her to be happy about it? no buddy you are wrong...you can have a wonderful marriage and still participate in activities with your friends but you have to draw the line somewhere and staying out all night long is crossing over that line into divorce court.

Edit to addt'l details: Still unacceptable...doesn't matter if you are camping or otherwise. If it doesn't pertain to work or business related time away from home. Either bring your wife with you or don't go, don't look for excuses to be out overnight...than you shouldn't have gotten married!

i think you have a very valid point and that if you said all this to your wife the exact way you said it here, i would be very suprised if she did not understand it at all!
i think you are so right, you have every right to do these activities and you sound very sweet and devoted to your wife which makes it all the more frustrating when she doesnt allow you the freedom you deserve in life.
marriage is not about giving anything up but about a healthy amount of compromise and balance.
i know that as a woman she probably feels as though she has given up and compromised more so than you have but she will probably always feel like that as i also feel that way but dont hold that against my fiance as it was my choices and never have i regretted them!
stay strong and seriously, communicate all the time with her! encourage her to get more activities and friends involved in her life!
xx

Yes.

It isn't healthy to spend *all* of your time together. You obviously love her very much, but you need some time to pursue your own interests. This will prevent a lot of fights from happening.

Why don't you suggest to her that she also take some time off from you? Maybe when you go hang out with your friends, she could organize a 'girl's night out' with some of her friends. Ask her how she would feel about giving up all of her interests that you do not share. Tell her that it has nothing to do with not wanting to spend time with her, but rather to enjoy a fuller life containing your interests, whatever they may be, without forcing her to participate in activities that she has no interest for.

It sounds like she is indeed being "clingy" but I can't be definitive as I don't know if you are abusing her trust (how much is "occasionally"). Unless you were keeping secrets, she had to know what your hobbies & interests were (the expectation is that these activities would carry forward into the marriage, unless specified prior).

I find it amusing that people say you can't stay out "all-night" either. We aren't necessarily talking about heading out and going drinking or to a strip club. For instance, lets assume you were a die hard Cowboyws fan and your wife hates football with a passion (won't watch it). You live out of State but prior to your marriage your wife knows that once a year you like to fly into Dallas to watch a game live.

A clingy, controlling spouse (and one that doesn't love you btw) would say "you can't go". A spouse that loves you and understands you would say "baby, you know how I feel about football but why don't you go and have a good time".

When you looked your bride in the eyes and said I DO, it didn't mean that you were marrying her but still going to be living the "single" life. It meant that the two of you were now unified and play time with the buddies is over - especially the overnighters. The ONLY person you should be with over night is your wife and what you have done is hurt her deeply.

As a woman I can tell you that if my husband stayed out with his friends overnight I would feel like he didn't desire me anymore, that I wasn't special and worth spending time with. No partner should be left alone, it's dangerous and neglectful.

You have been married for a year and you haven't started it off very well. You have put your feeling and wants above those of your sweethearts. You have shown her that your buddies mean more to you than she does. That your
"freedom" is what you'd rather have.

I have watched many friends and family memebers go through the samething and it only ends in more heartache. You obviously weren't really ready to commit to this women and to answer your question, "is she clingy", yes but it's because you aren't there for her.

It's not just men who need to be weary of spending to much time with friends/hobbies while leaving their loved ones behind but we women need to balance it out as well.

Your sweetheart told you how she felt. She told you that she felt unloved, rejected, and that your needs and wants are more important than hers. She told you all of this and you STILL turn your back on her and continue to live life as though you were single. You say that you love her very much but ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!!!

No my friend, you are in the wrong. She does not need to learn how to be more idepentant, you need to learn how to be a husband who TRULY loves his wife enough to not only tell her but SHOW her - and that doesn't mean buying her gifts.

If you continue to neglect your wife, her feelings, & your marriage they way that you are you may find in time that your wife will have moved on, and it may be with someone who will cherish her and every waking moment with her.

Remember, ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!!!