Comments on: On Engaging and Miscommunication (2 of 3)

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Sat, 10 Jul 2010 07:49:58 +0000

Have you tried staging conversations? It seems very artificial, but you can tell him “You can direct the conversation for five minutes . Then I get to direct the conversation for two minutes .” After some practice you can whittle it down to a more even time.

I’ve had some success with Willy using that technique, though I try not to be very rigid about it. Willy’s better at flexibility than some kids, though.

By: kathleen

kathleen — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 13:14:36 +0000

Yes-teaching them and being honest with them about conversations and topics is important. I find myself having a hard time with that-one of my boys is so very sensitive..so sometimes even gently reminding him can cause much weeping. Makes me realize how stressful communication can be..

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 17:33:20 +0000

Pokemon is a familiar example! Right now Willy is fixated on Super Smash Brothers. I agree that it is difficult to listen to all the little details about these interests. Far too often I don’t.

But, at the same time, our children deserve our full attention. It’s important to be honest about how much talking about Pokemon or Super Smash Brothers we can stand; and help them understand that conversations go both ways. But sometimes it’s very difficult to remember that.

By: kathleen

kathleen — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 22:58:27 +0000

Hi-This was an important lesson to me as I started adulthood-active listening. How many times would I ask someones opinion or a question about something-only to interrupt them in the middle of answering. Before they could even answer I was busy formulating my next thought. I have learned that keeping quiet and focusing on what the person is really saying has enhanced my friendships..
Although..I do still find it hard to always actively listen to my kids..:) There is just so much information about Pokemon one mother can take..:)