Recently I was asked if I thought that menopause freed women up or caused trouble. What a perceptive question since the answer is that both things happen. It is not an either/or.
The most tumultuous time for women are the few years (anywhere from 2 to 10) prior to menopause where most women experience a variety of physical symptoms accompanied by various emotional fluctuations. This is not only stressful for the woman who is in peri menopause but also for everyone else in her life. Along with this comes the realization that she is now in the second half of life and the remaining time feels more finite. As result of this menopausal transition most women emerge with a clearer sense of who they are and what they want for themselves.
This greater clarity however can put a lot of strain on relationships. Especially if the other partner is content with how life has been. However, any time one person wants to make changes it affects the balance of their relationship. This is where the trouble comes in for couples. How they negotiate these different needs is crucial. Women whose partners are inflexible and can not accept these changes feel that they have one of two choices: they either let go of what they want for themselves or they end up leaving their relationships. Statistics show that more women initiate divorce when they are in their fifties than at any other time of their life.
Couples that can incorporate the “menopause freed up” woman find that their relationships are enriched. Some do it on their own while others take advantage of professional help to learn how to grow together.
Tags: grow, Kristina von Rosenvinge, menopause, relationship conflict, relationships
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