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Enter MERCUTIO,
BENVOLIO, Mercutio’s PAGE,
and others |
MERCUTIO, his page, and
BENVOLIO enter with other men. |
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BENVOLIO
I pray thee, good Mercutio, let’s retire.
The day is hot; the Capulets, abroad;
And if we meet we shall not ’scape a brawl,
For now, these hot days, is the mad blood stirring.
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BENVOLIO
I’m begging you, good Mercutio, let’s call it a
day. It’s hot outside, and the Capulets are wandering
around. If we bump into them, we’ll certainly get into a
fight. When it’s hot outside, people become angry and
hot-blooded.
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MERCUTIO
Thou art like one of those fellows that, when he enters the
confines of a tavern, claps me his sword upon the table and says
“God send me no need of thee!” and, by the
operation of the second cup, draws it on the drawer when indeed
there is no need.
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MERCUTIO
You’re like one of those guys who walks into a bar, slams
his sword on the table, and then says, “I pray I never
have to use you.” By the time he orders his second
drink, he pulls his sword on the bartender for no reason at
all.
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BENVOLIO
Am I like such a fellow?
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BENVOLIO
Am I really like one of those guys?
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MERCUTIO
Come, come, thou art as hot a Jack in thy mood as any in Italy,
and as soon moved to be moody, and as soon moody to be moved.
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MERCUTIO
Come on, you can be as angry as any guy in Italy when
you’re in the mood. When someone does the smallest thing to
make you angry, you get angry. And when you’re in the mood
to get angry, you find something to get angry about.
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BENVOLIO
And what to?
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BENVOLIO
And what about that?
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MERCUTIO
Nay, an there were two such, we should have none shortly, for one
would kill the other. Thou, why, thou wilt quarrel with a man that
hath a hair more or a hair less in his beard than thou hast. Thou
wilt quarrel with a man for cracking nuts, having no other reason
but because thou hast hazel eyes. What eye but such an eye would spy
out such a quarrel? Thy head is as full of quarrels as an egg is
full of meat, and yet thy head hath been beaten as addle as an egg
for quarreling. Thou hast quarreled with a man for coughing in the
street because he hath wakened thy dog that hath lain asleep in the
sun. Didst thou not fall out with a tailor for wearing his new
doublet before Easter? With another, for tying his new shoes with
old ribbon? And yet thou wilt tutor me from quarreling!
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MERCUTIO
If there were two men like you, pretty soon there’d be
none because the two of you would kill each other. You would fight
with a man if he had one more whisker or one less whisker in his
beard than you have in your beard. You’ll fight with a man
who’s cracking nuts just because you have hazelnut-colored
eyes. Only you would look for a fight like that. Your head is as
full of fights as an egg is full of yolk, but your head has been
beaten like scrambled eggs from so much fighting. You started a
fight with a man who coughed in the street because he woke up a dog
that was sleeping in the sun. Didn’t you argue it out with
your tailor for wearing one of his new suits before the right
season? And with another for tying the new shoes he made with old
laces? And yet you’re the one who wants to teach me about
restraint!
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