taintedwicked

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"Morning."

Snape turned to look at him. He buttoned the last of the dozen or so buttons on his robes and nodded curtly. "Good morning."

"Did you sleep well?"

"I slept as well as could be expected."

Remus propped himself up on one elbow and ran his fingers through his hair. "Do you have class this morning?"

"No. I thought I would have an early breakfast and then see Pomfrey before the usual student injuries flood the infirmary. You may meet me there in an hour."

Remus sat up so fast his head reeled. "No. I'll go with you now."

Snape regarded him for a moment. "Of course. Get dressed."

The Great Hall was empty except for a house-elf who went about scrubbing the tables. Food appeared when they sat down.

Snape said nothing throughout the meal, and Remus wasn't sure what he could say to break the silence. He chose not to say anything.

"Are you certain a pregnancy is detectable this early?" Remus asked as they walked to the hospital wing.

Snape glanced at a clock and frowned. "I believe eight hours are required. Do you recall the exact time we --"

"No," Remus said quickly.

"In that case, we will leave it to Pomfrey to see what she can find."

Remus stopped in his tracks. "Severus. How exactly do you plan on telling her?"

Snape stopped and turned to look at him. "Pomfrey already knows, Remus. Certainly you don't think I would take a chance with my own health and that of my unborn child?"

Remus let out a relieved breath. "Of course. I wasn't thinking straight. I'm just glad we won't have a fainting nurse on our hands."

"Pomfrey is hardly that easy to shock."

"A male pregnancy? That's still quite unusual. Has she any experience?"

"She's familiar with the basics. If I require additional care, she will call in a specialist. She has many contacts in the medical community. Here we are --" Snape started to pull open the double doors.

Remus jumped in front of him. "Let me!"

Snape fixed him with a disgusted look. "Have you gone mad, Lupin?"

Remus felt a flush creep up his neck. "What? Can't I open a door for you?"

"I hope this is not an indication of things to come," Snape muttered, walking past him into the infirmary.

Feeling foolish, Remus followed him.

The nurse was bustling around the beds, smoothing sheets and plumping pillows. Winter was a season for illness, and the infirmary usually saw a dozen students a day. When she saw them, she dropped what she was doing and came over. "Severus. Remus. What can I do for you?"

"A pregnancy test, if you please," Snape said calmly.

Pomfrey didn't bat an eyelash, just as Snape had predicted. Remus watched as she brought in several odd looking gizmos from a back storage room, laying them out on a table next to one of the beds.

"Lie down, Severus," she said. "Unbutton your shirt."

Remus watched curiously as the nurse placed flat, circular stones carved with intricate runes on top of Snape's stomach. When she was finished, she flicked her wand twice.

The stones glowed.

A minute passed with no other effect, and Remus shifted from one foot to the other. "Er... are we waiting for something?"

"There," Pomfrey said.

Remus peered closely, and saw a wisp of something rise from the center stone; the one covering Snape's navel. "Is that?"

"A baby," Pomfrey confirmed. "Congratulations, gentlemen."

Remus had to grab the edge of the table to steady himself.

A baby.

Until that very moment, he hadn't truly believed it.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Remus folded the last shirt carefully and put it in the box. Everything he owned fit in one box and one briefcase, with room to spare. The room he had called home for more than two years now held no evidence that he had lived there.

He almost didn't hear the knock the first time. Probably, had it not been for his heightened sense of hearing, he wouldn't have heard it at all.

"Come in," he called, not turning from his work.

He heard shuffling footsteps and the door closing with a soft creak, then nothing.

"Harry? Is that --" Remus turned, expecting to see Harry. For the past two days the boy had looked like he wanted to speak to him, but couldn't get up the nerve. "Sirius."

Sirius looked down at the floor. "Remus."

"What are you doing here? I know you have class."

"Ditched," Sirius said, shrugging. "Hermione's in charge. They'll probably learn more anyway."

Remus sat down on the edge of the bed. "What do you want, Sirius?"

Sirius looked up quickly, then dropped his gaze again.

Remus waited.

"I don't blame you, and I'm not angry, and I don't want to fight with you anymore," Sirius mumbled, barely audibly.

Remus let out the breath he hadn't know he was holding. "Why the change of heart?"

Sirius shrugged again. "You're my best friend. I didn't want more than that until I thought Snape was going to get you."

"He does have me. He's having my baby, Sirius. I'm going to marry him at the end of the week."

Sirius looked up, eyes pleading. "I'm sorry, Moony. I've been such an idiot."

"I'm sorry I had to hurt you to make you understand."

Sirius nodded and didn't say anything. He was back to looking at the floor.

"How's Harry doing?"

"He's all right."

Remus nodded and turned back to his packing. "That's good."

"He's as much yours as he is mine, you know."

Remus froze.

"I'm sorry," Sirius said. "I never should have used him like that. He's yours, too, and you can see him as often as you like. I was a complete idiot, Remus."

Remus swallowed, not trusting his voice.

"Will you forgive me, or do I have to beg?"

"You're good at begging," Remus said, smiling weakly. "But no, you don't have to. I'm not angry with you anymore."

"Friends, then?"

"Always."

Sirius grinned and threw himself into an armchair. "So. Tell me. Are you really going to be a daddy?"

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"Stop hovering," Snape said, pushing Remus away. "You're in my way."

"Should you be doing that? Blueroot is poisonous."

"So you paid attention in Herbology. Good for you." Snape dropped the chopped roots into the cauldron and began to stir.

"You're standing too close to the fire, Severus."

Snape turned toward him, his expression deadly. "No. YOU are standing too close to ME. Get out, Remus. Go see what that infernal mutt is up to."

Remus crossed his arms and stayed where he was. "Poppy said you should be careful what you handle."

"This is my job. I'm hardly going to poison myself with a simple sleep draught. I'm not a bumbling first year."

"Maybe you should get one of the students to help you. It would be as good as an apprenticeship for them. Neville could take care of some of the plants and --"

Snape snorted. "I don't have a death wish. And if I did, I would find an easier way to go than through Longbottom's incompetence."

"I thought you admired his tenacity?"

Snape shot him a disgusted look. "As long as he's tenacious on the other side of Hogwarts. Now, for the last time, stop hovering or I will shove you head first into this cauldron!"

"You're carrying my child, Severus! I won't let you do anything dangerous. Poppy said --"

"I don't care what that blasted woman said!" Snape roared. "Get away from me, Remus, I'm on my last nerve!"

Reluctantly, Remus moved several paces away from Snape's work table.

Snape worked in silence for several minutes, then glanced up at him. "You're still here."

"Not going anywhere."

"I always thought Black was the stubborn one."

"I guess you were wrong."

"For Merlin's sake, Remus, I'm hardly two weeks along!"

Remus shook his head obstinately. "Poppy said the first month is very important for fetal development."

Snape muttered something under his breath and returned to work.

The potion was ruined.

"This is your fault," Snape said through gritted teeth as he poured the potion down the drain. "Next time I'm locking you out. I should have never agreed to let you into my workroom."

Remus scowled at him, but said nothing.

Maybe it was his fault for distracting Snape. But was it his fault Snape was taking unnecessary chances with the health of their baby?

"First thing tomorrow, I'm going to have a long discussion with McGonagall."

"About what?" Remus demanded.

"Getting you a job."

Remus shook his head. "Don't be daft. She can't do anything for me."

"She can't as Headmistress, but she can as a private citizen. I don't care if you end up shoveling snow, one way or the other I'm going to be rid of you for at least a few hours a day, before you drive both of us mad."

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"Snape being a stupid git again?"

"He's making dangerous potions and expects me to be quiet about it."

"Maybe he knows what he's doing."

Remus stared at Sirius. Since when did Sirius admit Snape could do anything right?

"Look," Sirius said, putting up his hands defensively. "I'm not saying you don't know better, but I can see you're getting worked up over this. Did Pomfrey actually say he couldn't keep working?"

"No..."

"Then stop pestering him, before he really does drown you in a cauldron."

"He locked me out of our quarters."

"So he needs some time alone. Don't try to tell me you've never locked yourself in a room when you didn't want to be bothered, because I vividly remember some evenings James and I had to pound the dorm room door down."

"That's different. We're married."

"Remus. You married Snape. What did you expect?"

Remus glared at him.

"You're smothering him."

"He's having my baby," Remus said stubbornly. Sirius just didn't understand!

"No reason for the two of you to be joined at the hip. People have babies all the time."

Remus waved him off and walked to the door. "Thanks for letting me borrow this."

"Don't bother bringing it back. Perfectly useless book, really."

Remus shook his head at his friend's lack of appreciation for higher magic, and headed toward the staircase, already thumbing through the index to find the section on locking charms.

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"Are you sure you should do this?"

Snape pulled on the skin-tight gloves and frowned at him. "What are you going on about now?"

"The potion takes hours to apply. Should you be sitting up that long?"

"Don't be ridiculous."

"You shouldn't overexert yourself. Poppy said --"

"If you quote Pomfrey one more time --"

"Fine," Remus said, sighing in frustration. "Fine. But if you get tired..."

"If I get tired, I will take a break. It won't make much difference to you."

"Agreed," Remus said, stripping off his shirt. "But give me your word."

He could hear Snape's teeth grinding. "I give you my word."

Remus lay down and waited for Snape to hand him the muscle relaxant.

He had spoken to the nurse, alone this time, and been assured that Snape could continue his normal activities until at least the middle of his second trimester. That was the end of summer, and he had already badgered Snape into agreeing to let McGonagall hire someone to take over for him the following year.

Snape, in turn, had demanded assurances that he'd have his job back the day after he gave birth, and no amount of pleading on Remus' part had budged him.

They weren't even past the first month, as Snape liked to remind him.

Remus sighed and settled more comfortably on the bed, feeling the medication begin to work.

The baby wasn't due until November, and November seemed so far away.

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"What are you doing?"

"Sorry, did I wake you?"

"You did. Now answer my question."

"Just looking at your belly."

Snape raised his head, a scowl already on his face. "What?" He looked down at his flat stomach and his scowl deepened. "I don't have a belly, Remus."

"Not yet. You will."

"For Merlin's sake... What are you doing now?"

Remus ignored him. With his ear pressed to Snape's navel, he imagined he could hear the baby's heartbeat.

That was just wishful thinking, he knew. The baby was hardly larger than a tadpole, and it's tiny heart couldn't be heard from deep inside Snape's body.

But soon...

"Get off me, Remus. I don't know what's got into you, but I'm not going to miss breakfast because of your foolishness."

Reluctantly, Remus moved aside to let him off the bed.

"I have two classes this morning, and I expect you NOT to hover outside the door at the end of each," Snape went on, pulling on his clothes. "Furthermore, I... would prefer... if..."

Remus was on his feet in a split second. "Severus? What's wrong?"

Instead of answering, Snape clamped his hand over his mouth and bolted for the bathroom.

Remus made it to the door just in time to have it slammed in his face. "Severus? Are you all right? Open the door!"

After a long moment, Snape's voice, slightly shaky, came through the door. "If you come in here, I will hex you with boils."

Remus hit the wall in frustration, then slid to a sitting position on the floor.

Minutes passed. He could hear retching. It seemed like it would never stop. Finally, he heard water running.

The lock clicked.

"Get off the floor, you'll catch a draft," Snape said crossly.

Remus scrambled up. "Are you all right?"

Snape sniffed disdainfully. "Never better. I always feel my best after emptying my stomach over a toilet."

Remus looked closely, but aside from being a shade paler than usual, Snape did seem to be all right. "Is this the first time you've had morning sickness?"

Snape hesitated, then shook his head. "It started when you were gone."

"And you didn't think I'd want to know?"

"I thought it would be another reason for you to fuss unnecessarily."

"Unnecessarily!"

"A little nausea is perfectly normal."

Remus followed him to the wardrobe. "You can't teach class like this!"

"Why not?"

"What if you get sick again?"

"I've taken a potion. It won't happen again."

"It happened just now!"

Snape turned to glare at him. "I couldn't very well take a potion while I was sleeping, could I?"

Remus watched helplessly as Snape finished dressing, picked up the stack of essays he had finished grading the previous evening, and headed for the door.

"Will you at least come to breakfast? You need to eat."

"I will have something brought to my office. I have a lesson plan to prepare."

The door shut behind him, leaving Remus alone. He sank onto the edge of the bed and dropped his head into his hands.

Why couldn't Snape understand? Remus' every instinct told him to protect his unborn child, even if that meant protecting it from the very person who was carrying it.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Over on the bed, Lupin sighed another one of his broken, pitiful sighs.

Very deliberately, Snape turned the page of his record book and proceeded to fill in the fourth years' grades.

Another sigh.

"Quit that," Snape said unsympathetically. "I know what you're up to. It won't work. I'm not taking the rest of the year off."

"Less than a month!" Lupin cried, suddenly animated. "Someone else can easily oversee the revisions, and you are not needed by the fifth and seventh years at all!"

Snape scowled at him. "I intend to assist my better students in their studies. As well, you know I do not believe in revising. I intend to continue teaching new material until the end of the year."

Lupin slumped defeatedly against the pillows. "Why must you be so stubborn?"

"Why must you be so unreasonable?"

"You shouldn't overexert yourself."

"It's up to me to decide what is overexertion and what is not."

Lupin was quiet for a moment. "Lets not argue anymore. Come sit down."

Snape made his way across the room, but he watched Lupin suspiciously all the while.

Lupin shifted, laying his head across what was left of Snape's lap.

"I know you're up to something, Remus," Snape said, though he patted Lupin's head despite himself. "Spit it out."

"Every time I ask you for something, the answer is no. You won't stop making dangerous potions. You won't take the rest of the year off. You won't take it easy at all."

"The baby is not due for another six months. Do you expect me to spend that time in bed?"

"I wish you would listen to Poppy. She's concerned about the amount of time you spend on your feet."

"You are rubbing off on her. Soon she will be fussing as much as you do."

"Do I fuss?" Lupin asked, raising his head to look at Snape. "I just want you and the baby healthy."

"And we are," Snape said.

"How do I know that? You won't tell me what you're feeling!"

Snape let out a frustrated snort. "There is nothing TO feel, Remus. I keep telling you. I feel nothing, aside from my skin being stretched slightly."

"You can't feel the baby move?"

"It's far too early. Has Pomfrey not told you that?"

Lupin ignored the question. "Have you had any more nausea?"

"No."

"You missed your last appointment with Poppy."

"I was supervising a detention. I rescheduled."

"You should have asked someone to take over!"

"They were Gryffindors."

Lupin sat up, glaring at him. "That's not the point at all!"

"What is the point, Remus?" Snape demanded, returning the glare. "I'm tired of arguing with you."

Lupin's lips thinned. Snape could hear him gritting his teeth. "You... are a control freak."

Snape stared a him.

"You," Lupin continued, now breathing unevenly, as though holding back tidal wave of rage, "don't let me make any decisions about this pregnancy. YOU SHUT ME OUT, AND IT'S MY BABY, TOO!"

Finished, Lupin sat back on his heels, panting and glaring.

Snape stood up, jerking his robes straight. "If it were up to you, I would spend the rest of this pregnancy strapped to a bed in the infirmary. This conversation is over."

Lupin was silent as Snape left the room, but Snape knew he was still boiling over with anger.

Lupin was becoming more unreasonable by the day.

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"Severus! Wait!"

Snape slammed the door in Lupin's face and leaned against it, struggling to control his anger.

Lupin was driving him mad. Even the workroom was no longer a sanctuary.

Lupin hovered. He quoted from a dozen texts -- though where he had found so much information on male pregnancy was beyond Snape's guess --and Poppy Pomfrey. He paced in the hallway outside Snape's classroom and peered through the stained-glass panel at the top of Snape's office door while Snape was chewing out errant students. He terrorized the house-elves with preposterous demands, and personally oversaw the preparation of bizarre dishes -- despite the fact that Snape refused to eat them.

Six more months of this and Snape would be ready for St. Mungo's.

He sighed heavily as he looked down at his stomach. Three months gone, and he already looked like he'd swallowed a small hippogriff. He didn't want to know what he would look like by the time the baby was ready to come out.

The damned thing was interfering with his ability to work on his potions. Not only had Pomfrey forbidden him from using Monkwood and Belladonna, but now Pomfrey was warning against remaining on his feet longer than a few hours at a time. Potions, as Snape kept telling Lupin, could NOT be brewed sitting down.

Worse yet, Lupin had said something to Black, which had -- miracle though that was -- made it through the man's thick skull. Despite Snape's best efforts, Black gritted his teeth and wouldn't respond to even the most biting insults. That, along with Lupin's inability to understand that Snape could not successfully patrol the corridors at night with Lupin trailing behind him, took the last bit of enjoyment out of Snape's life.

"Severus, open the bloody door!"

Snape considered ignoring him, but that would only postpone the inevitable.

As soon as the door was open, Lupin stalked in. "Look, it isn't my fault Poppy thinks you're overexerting yourself. You're lucky you don't have to go on bed rest. According to my research --"

"I've heard as much about your research as I can stomach," Snape cut in. "I will thank you to keep it to yourself."

"Then stop taking unnecessary risks! This is my child! You purposely ignored Poppy's warning about the Feverfew, and --"

"And nothing happened! For the last time, I know how to handle potions ingredients!"

Snape tried to step around Lupin, but Lupin blocked his path.

"I know what you're doing!" he snarled. "This baby doesn't mean anything to you, does it? If you miscarry, I'll be trapped in this marriage regardless."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"You... er... accused him of trying to murder the baby?"

"Yes."

"Let me see it."

Slowly, Remus lowered the bloody handkerchief.

"I don't think it's broken," Sirius said after a moment. "Here, put some ice on it."

"You think I'm wrong," Remus said, watching as Sirius unfolded clean sheets and began to make up a bed on the couch. "Don't you?"

"I think..." Sirius began, then he shook his head. "Look, I wouldn't put it past him to do something like that. But didn't you say he's the one who suggested having it in the first place?"

"And I believed it. Until I did some research and found out the potion takes days to prepare. He had it ready, Sirius. He told me it was for a colleague of his, but the potion only lasts a week from brewing. He never made more. I know it. There isn't even any Motherwort in his potions cabinet, and that's the main ingredient."

Sirius frowned. "You think he found out you wanted a baby?"

"He had to have. It's too much of a coincidence."

Sirius made no reply, and for a long time they stayed in silence.

Remus, lost in his own miserable thoughts, jumped when Sirius touched his shoulder. "What?"

"I said, the bed is ready."

"Oh. Thank you."

Sirius shrugged. "You're welcome to stay as long as you need. You know that."

"I hope I won't have to take you up on that."

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Sirius waited until Remus had fallen into uneasy sleep before he grabbed his cloak and left his quarters.

He had no doubt Remus was right to suspect Snape, but it was too late to say 'I told you so', no matter how much he might want to. If anything happened to that baby, Remus would be heartbroken.

"I thought I told you --" Snape froze, staring at Sirius. "Black. What in bloody hell do you want?"

Sirius pushed the door open the rest of the way and came in, ignoring Snape's indignant glares. "Shut the door, Snape. I'm not leaving until I've said what I came here to say."

He looked around for a place to sit down, but every available space seemed to be taken up by stacks of books.

Snape glared at him for a few moments longer, then, as though resigning himself to the fact that there was no easy way to get rid of his unwanted guest, he shut the door and drew the bolt. "Say what you came to say, then. I don't have all night."

Sirius had no intention of wasting Snape's precious time. "Did you use this pregnancy to get Remus to marry you?"

"Of course I did."

Sirius stared. The one thing he had not expected was to have Snape admit it.

"Did you think," Snape continued, just as calmly, "that I would not use everything at my disposal to get what I want? You used Potter, after all, and that was as low as one can go on the scale of callousness."

An angry retort was on the tip of Sirius' tongue, but he recalled suddenly why he'd come. "Are you trying to weasel out of your part of the bargain now?"

Snape crossed his arms over his chest. "I've had this conversation once today, I have no intention of having it again."

"Remus is afraid for his child's life!" Sirius took two threatening steps toward Snape. "I don't expect you to understand that, of course. Nothing's changed, Snape. You still have a block of ice in place of a heart."

"I'm glad we cleared that up," Snape said, smirking. "Unless you have anything else you want to get off your chest --"

Sirius grabbed him by the front of his robes. He stopped just short of slamming Snape into the door. "I'm not leaving until I get the truth."

"What truth is that?"

"Are you trying to harm this baby?"

Snape twisted out of Sirius' grasp and began to brush the wrinkles out of his robes. "I suppose the two of you have put together your underdeveloped brains and come up with a reason I would do something so self-defeating?"

Sirius narrowed his eyes. "What are you going on about, Snape?"

"Clearly I once again overestimated your intelligence." Snape sniffed contemptuously before continuing. "Answer this, Black. What will Lupin do if I fail to produce the thing I dangled in front of his nose when other methods of courtship failed?"

"I can tell you what I'll do," Sirius muttered under his breath. Aloud he said, "He'll be shattered. He'll never forgive you."

"Is anything stopping him from leaving me?"

"Of course something is stopping him! You know the vows can't be broken!"

"You're right, Black. The fact that they can't is the only reason I'll sleep comfortably tonight, though I have no doubt Lupin is at this very moment licking his wounds in your quarters."

"What?"

Snape looked disgusted. "Have you any sense, Black? You might at least pretend."

Sirius made to grab Snape by the collar of his robes again, but Snape stepped out of reach.

"What I mean," Snape said, still in the same contemptuous tone, "is that very little is stopping Lupin from spending the rest of his natural life holed up in your quarters. No doubt the couch is comfortable enough. No doubt, also, that he will do exactly that, should I fail to deliver what I promised him."

Sirius stared at him suspiciously.

"You may tell him," Snape said, turning away, "that he is welcome to return... as soon as he agrees to cease interfering with my potions."

"I'm not finished!" Sirius protested, following him. "I want your word --"

Snape whipped around, causing Sirius to freeze in his tracks. "GET OUT OF MY QUARTERS."

Sirius took a cautious step back. Snape's hand was hovering over a pocket, and Sirius could see the outline his wand. Taking his own wand out -- let alone hexing Snape -- was hardly an option, no matter how much Snape might deserve it. "Fine. But you just remember the only thing keeping me from hexing you into next week is that baby. You do anything to it and I --"

Snape drew his wand.

Sirius swallowed the rest of his words, finishing instead with an derisive snort before pulling open the door and stalking out.

The door slammed behind him. The empty corridor echoed the sound until Sirius' ears rang.

Slowly, he unclenched his fists and took several deep breaths.

Dumbledore would have been proud. Half an hour alone with Snape, and no one ended up unconscious or bleeding.

He started toward the dungeon stairs, muttering to himself. There was nothing worse than having no outlet for his animosity toward Snape. He couldn't even talk to Remus about it.

He was half-way up the dungeon staircase before his reverie was broken by the sound of running footsteps. He looked up just in time to see something fly at him.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?!"

Sirius flailed his arms wildly, trying to keep from toppling backwards. "Remus! Calm down! I haven't done anything!"

Remus did not appear to have heard him. He proceeded to shake him until Sirius' bones rattled. "WHAT DID YOU SAY TO HIM?!"

Sirius' head connected painfully with the wall, finally bringing him back to his senses. He grabbed Remus by the shoulders. "Will you calm down? You'll bring half the castle running!"

At that, Remus did let him go, flinging him aside and running past him down the stairs.

Sirius ran after him. "Wait a minute!" Catching up to him, he grabbed Remus' arm. "Remus! Wait!"

Remus came to a dead halt. Sirius skidded into his back.

"What did you do, Sirius?"

Remus' voice was low, but Sirius didn't miss the warning tone. Another moment and he would be sprawled on the floor, covered in boils -- or worse. You could only push Remus so far.

"I just went to talk to him."

"I heard an explosion."

"He slammed the door."

"I don't believe you."

"I'm telling the truth. I went to talk to him, and he says he isn't trying to harm the baby."

Remus turned around slowly. His eyes were narrowed suspiciously. "And you believe him?"

Sirius shrugged. "What he says makes sense, I suppose. If he hurt the baby you would leave him."

Remus said nothing.

"It makes sense," Sirius repeated. "Look, he said you can come back if you promise not to get in the way of his potions. Maybe you should just leave him alone. I don't think he's likely to poison himself by accident, and you can't prevent him from doing it on purpose."

Remus turned and walked away from him.

Sirius trailed after him, not sure if he should say anything more. Still undecided, he stopped at the corner, while Remus continued.

Remus knocked and waited at the door. He didn't look back at Sirius.

If Snape wouldn't let Remus in...

The door was flung open. Sirius flattened himself against the wall.

There was silence. Finally, unable to stand it, Sirius peered around the corner.

Remus and Snape were staring at each other across the doorway. After what seemed like hours, Snape opened the door slightly wider and stepped aside.

Shaking his head, Sirius turned to leave.

Incredible, the things he put himself through!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Snape stole a glance in Lupin's direction.

The full moon had come and gone, leaving Lupin gaunt, pale, and silent. That morning, after being helped into bed, he hadn't made a sound as Snape applied the potion. And now, he merely sat leaning against the headboard, saying nothing, watching Snape with weary eyes.

The potion was coming out beautifully. It was the first one Snape had been able to brew in relative peace, without Lupin's hysterics distracting him at every turn. For the first time, Lupin was doing just what Snape had been demanding -- leaving Snape and his potions well enough alone.

It should have made Snape happy.

Scowling, he turned back to his cauldron.

Was it his imagination, or had Lupin just sighed heavily? Snape refused to look.

He poured in minced scarabs and watched carefully as the potion turned a shade darker. Next, the rat's liver. The potion boiled furiously.

"You can stop your sighing, Remus. The potion is done. I haven't managed to kill myself or the fetus."

Silence.

Snape chose to turn his attention to filling the four glass flasks he had lined up on his work table. If Lupin didn't feel like talking, that wasn't Snape's problem.

He carried the flasks to the potions cabinet and stowed them inside. He emptied and cleaned the cauldron, hanging it on the rack to dry.

Finally, he turned to look at Lupin. "Has the restorative helped, or do you need another dose?"

Lupin smiled weakly. "It helped."

"You look like death warmed over. What is the matter with you?"

No answer.

"Are you ill?"

Lupin shook his head.

"I will not play guessing games with you," Snape said irritably.

"The summer is half-way over."

Snape looked Lupin over suspiciously. "Your point?"

"Will we stay at Hogwarts the entire holiday?"

"Where else would we go? If you wish to spend time with Black and Potter, you are welcome to go."

"No. I had hoped you would take me to see your home."

Snape remembered then. He had mentioned the old Snape place to Lupin, hadn't he? Well, under no circumstance would he let Lupin see the decrepit ruins that the Snape homestead must surely be after nearly two decades in abandonment.

"I've decided to sell it."

"Sell it?"

"It's too isolated, and requires too much restoration. We will buy a home closer to Hogwarts. Perhaps in Hogsmeade, or one of the new villages." Sudden inspiration hit. "In fact, why don't you begin searching for a suitable house? I believe the Prophet still runs classifieds."

He watched while Lupin took the day-old paper out of a drawer and began to leaf through it. Maybe that would keep the man busy for a while. Satisfied, he returned to his work. He still had a wart balm to brew for Pomfrey and a lesson plan to prepare. He wasn't going to allow the young twit McGonagall had hired to take over Potions class the next year to actually have run of things.

"How would you feel about spending a week at the seashore, Severus?"

Snape looked up, scowling. Apparently, Lupin wasn't done with him. "What?"

Lupin held up the paper. "There's an ad for a cabin. It looks beautiful."

"You're determined to take me from my work, aren't you?"

"We agreed you would take it easy once the school year ended. You are officially on leave, Severus."

Snape gritted his teeth. In the last three weeks, he had prepared no more than a dozen potions. If that was not taking it easy...!

"How long has it been since you've taken a real holiday?" Lupin went on. "I know it's been years for me."

Lupin was master at playing the pity card. Snape steeled himself. "Do we not have anything more worthwhile to spend our hard-earned money on than a week's rent on some drafty shack?"

"Come look at it, before you judge."

Snape waved him off. Lupin wasn't going to give up, he could see. "Fine. Rent it. We will spend a week at the seashore, if that's what you wish."

Lupin's face broke into a wide smile. "You won't regret it, Severus. You'll see."

Snape was already regretting it, but that exuberant look was so rarely seen on Lupin's face, he didn't have the heart to say so.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The cabin stood just a few yards from where the waves broke against the shore. Remus set down their bags on the porch and breathed in the salty air. He was convinced a week away from Hogwarts and its gloomy dungeons would do them both some good.

Snape appeared behind him.

"What do you think, Severus? Isn't it beautiful?"

Snape scanned the scene in front of them. "I'm sure it is," he said without much enthusiasm.

"Even you must see that it is."

Snape grunted noncommittally.

"The dungeons will still be there when we get back."

"Did I imply otherwise?"

Remus turned, encircling Snape's waist with his arms. "No. I'm sure this place will grow on you." He kissed Snape lightly on the cheek. "And I'm happy wherever you are."

Snape shook off the embrace. "All this sentimentality, Remus. Honestly." He bent down to pick up one of the suitcases. "Lets go inside."

Remus snatched the suitcase out of his hand. "I'll take that. You go on ahead."

It earned him a scowl, but at least Snape didn't argue.

Remus took one last look at the calm ocean before following Snape inside.

He was determined to make the best he could of that week. Poppy had said, after all, that fresh air was good for the baby.

The cabin was small. Just one bedroom, and the front room and kitchen were separated only with a thin curtain. Still, it was larger than Remus' own house had been, and cheerier than Snape's dungeon quarters. He could still hear the waves, even with the door shut.

"What are you doing?" Snape demanded.

Remus threw open the next window and grinned at him. "Fresh air, Severus, remember?"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Snape lay on his back, staring at the unfamiliar ceiling.

How had he allowed Lupin to talk him into this?

His dungeons were dark at night. And quiet. Here...

Every few minutes, a beam of light, cast by a lighthouse on the cliff not far from the cabin, swept across the windows.

The wind howled. The waves lapped at the shore, ceaselessly rolling, roaring...

An owl hooted somewhere close. Snape scowled. Lupin must have left a window open, for the night sounds to be so loud.

He was about to get up to look, when he felt an odd fluttering in his stomach.

Merlin. Not that again. Hadn't he spent enough mornings bent over a toilet?

He waited for the familiar twisting that preceded bile rising in his throat.

Instead, something thumped against his stomach.

From the inside.

Compulsively, Snape's hands grasped his belly, seeking out the movement.

He had read the material Pomfrey had recommended, of course, but until then, he hadn't been able to imagine the odd sensation of something moving inside him.

The baby, moving.

He turned his head, looking at Lupin.

In the dim light, he could see Lupin's face was relaxed in sleep, his hair fanned out around his head like a halo.

Another thump, to the side this time.

"Remus," Snape said, prodding him in the ribs. "Wake up."

Lupin's eyes snapped open with the swiftness of one used to being roused at any hour of night to deal with crisis. "Severus? Is something wrong?"

Snape found one of Lupin's hands under the duvet, and placed it on top of his belly, covering it with his own and holding it there. He waited.

Lupin's eyes widened. "Is... that?" He sat up, his other hand quickly joining the one Snape held. "Is it...?"

"I'm no expert," Snape said, "but I'm at a loss as to what else it could be."

He studied the awed expression on Lupin's face as Lupin bent down to press one ear to his navel. All that fuss over a little fluttering... but he was sure now that he had done right to wake Lupin.

A few more minutes, and the baby stilled. Snape assumed it either tired of its game or had returned to sleep.

Looking reluctant, Lupin sat up. "That was..." He seemed to search for words, finally sighing deeply. "I never expected anything quite so splendid."

Snape bit back a snort. "I imagine it will make itself known regularly now. You will be tired of it soon enough."

"Never," Lupin said emphatically. "It was truly beautiful, Severus."

Snape opened his mouth to reply, and found it instead covered with Lupin's.

"What was that for?"

Lupin smiled, settling back against the pillows. "For sharing this with me."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The dungeons were indeed still there when they got back from their holiday.

There were potions to be brewed and lesson plans to be written. Snape got to work the very afternoon they arrived.

To his surprise, Lupin said not one word against it, commenting only that the nurse would probably want to see them. After unpacking, he left their quarters, mumbling something about the library.

Snape set to work. If Lupin had finally abandoned his irritable hovering, who was Snape to waste the opportunity to get some work done in peace?

The baby was quiet that day, as well. Snape knew it would not last, and as he had grown tired of the near-constant fluttering and thumping he had endured all that week, not to mention Lupin's infernal fussing over it, he was enjoying the lull.

Snape had just bottled the boil reducing salve and set it to cool when the door opened and Lupin stumbled in, bent over under the weight of some sort of wooden crate.

"Am I interrupting?" Lupin panted from behind his burden. Apparently, it was heavy.

"No."

"Wonderful! Come to the bedroom."

Snape followed as Lupin disappeared into the next room. He stopped in the doorway, watching suspiciously. "What is that?"

Lupin set it down. "Take a look. Where should we put it?"

Snape stared in disgust at the thing he had taken for a crate. It was, unmistakably, a cradle, carved out of dark wood, with runes set along the top edge.

"Here?" Lupin went on, pushing the cradle next to their bed. "Or in the corner?"

"Storage," Snape said shortly, biting back any number of scathing remarks. "You are not to turn our bedroom into a nursery."

Lupin looked hurt. "Minerva was kind enough to give this to us, Severus. I'm not going to put it into storage." He frowned. "Just where do you plan on putting the baby, if not here?"

Snape was tempted to say 'Storage,' just to see Lupin's reaction, but upon consideration decided the question was a valid one, and the issue would be best settled at once, while he still had some control over it. "There is no shortage of empty rooms on this level. There is a suitable one on the other side of that wall. I'm certain Hagrid won't mind installing a door."

He could see quite plainly that Lupin did not like the idea, but after a few moments he nodded. "That's fine. I'll ask him tonight."

Snape sighed heavily as Lupin bent over the cradle again.

He knew what this was. Every book he had read claimed would-be parents went through this phase sometime toward the end of the pregnancy.

Lupin was nesting.

And unless half a dozen reputable authorities on the subject were terribly mistaken, it was only going to get worse.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Thank you again, Hagrid," Remus called after the departing man.

Shutting the door, he turned around to survey the addition to their quarters.

A doorway now led from the bedroom to another, smaller, room. Remus had decided against an actual door, for the time being. What possible reason could they have for closing it? If he'd had his way, the baby would be in the bedroom, not in another room. But Snape...

Well, one had to make allowances. Snape probably wasn't used to small children, having been an only child and having spent his adult life teaching children no younger than eleven years. Likely he didn't realize how much attention an infant required.

"I hope the room is satisfactory?"

Remus nodded, forcing a smile. "Yes. It's more than adequate. Now, how shall we decorate? I was thinking --"

"You may do with it as you please. Buy whatever you think is needed."

"Don't you care how the room will turn out?"

Snape turned his back to him, beginning to undress. "No."

Remus frowned. "I thought it would be something we could do together."

"I have more important things to spend my time on. Lets not discuss it. Are you coming to bed?"

Still frowning, Remus stripped and climbed into bed. "Don't you think --"

"No."

"You didn't let me finish."

Snape turned to look at him. "As I said, I'm not interested in decorating the nursery. If you require assistance, I'm sure you will have no trouble finding someone." He turned away, reaching for the lamp. "Anyone but Black. I don't want the mutt in here."

Remus sighed in defeat. Clearly Snape was not going to change his mind. "All right. I will let you know before I make any radical changes."

"That's not necessary."

Remus gritted his teeth and said nothing.

"Good night," Snape said, leaning down to kiss him.

"Good night, Severus."

Long after Snape's breathing became steady, Remus lay in the dark, thinking.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Snape got out of bed, careful not to wake the sleeping Lupin, and made his way into the bathroom.

In front of the full-length mirror, he lifted his nightshirt and scowled at his protruding belly.

In the middle of the night, the damn little parasite had reached the next stage of its development. It was leaching his magic, taking what it wanted straight out of Snape's bloodstream.

Snape took out his wand and cast a few simple levitating charms, making the soap dish and the water glass rise to the ceiling.

The little devil was hungry. Snape felt the drain immediately, or rather, the odd pulling sensation, like a very weak portkey, deep inside himself.

At least it wasn't a squib, then. With Lupin's doubtful pedigree, there had been that possibility.

Magical children, even before birth, could not help but be drawn to sources of magic. Even those carried by Muggles exhibited changes in behavior when the parent who carried them inadvertently came into contact with a magical object. It was only natural that a child surrounded by magic would take advantage of it.

Snape's breath caught as a hard kick caught him off guard. His scowl deepened.

At this rate, Pomfrey would have him on bed rest in no time.

"Severus? Everything all right?"

Damn.

"Yes," he said, turning on the water. "Everything is fine."

He could tell Lupin hadn't moved away from the door. Waiting to pounce the second Snape came out, no doubt. Between Lupin and the baby, it was amazing he was still sane.

He dressed, taking his time, before opening the door.

"Minerva invited us to breakfast," Lupin said immediately.

Snape nodded. He had been trying to avoid accepting the Headmistress' invitation all that week, but he'd known he couldn't avoid it forever. "Fine."

Lupin peered closer at him, making Snape feel like a bug under a magnifying lens. "Are you feeling all right? You look tired."

Snape shot him a withering glare and pushed past him. "The baby kicked all night."

Lupin had the audacity to look sympathetic. "I'm sorry. Maybe we should ask to reschedule --"

"No. Best get it over with now."

He could feel Lupin's eyes on him, studying him.

The last thing he needed was for Lupin to find out the baby had made the connection -- at least a month early -- and demand he see Pomfrey at once.

"All right," Lupin said finally. "If you're sure you feel up to it."

Snape stiffened under another kick to the ribs. "Perfectly."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"What wrong with Snape?"

Remus looked up from the paper, frowning. "What do you mean?"

Sirius shrugged. "Saw him in the staffroom just now. Asleep." He paused, then shrugged again. "I think."

Flinging the paper aside, Remus was off, completely deaf to Sirius' calls after him.

Snape was asleep. Still panting from his run, Remus bent over him, studying his steady breathing.

Maybe he should have asked Minerva to reschedule, he thought guiltily. He'd seen Snape wasn't feeling well that morning.

Not knowing what else to do, he sat down in the chair next to Snape.

"Are you going to just sit there now?"

Remus looked up, narrowing his eyes at Sirius. "That wasn't amusing, Sirius. Don't ever do that to me again."

"Sorry," Sirius said, not looking particularly repentant. He sat down on the overstuffed couch, propping his feet up on the coffee table. "So. Just going to sit here and watch him?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact. That's exactly what I'm going to do."

Sirius made a disgusted face.

"What?" Remus asked suspiciously. "Let me guess. You can think of a dozen things you think I should rather do."

"More like a hundred," Sirius said, smirking. "Though he does look somewhat amusing with his mouth hanging open like that."

Remus glared at him.

"Cut the death glare, Rem," Sirius said, completely unperturbed. "I know the git's rubbing off on you, but you just aren't very scary."

Remus sniffed in annoyance and picked up a magazine. Sometimes ignoring Sirius was the best course of action. "Don't you have anything else to do?"

"Nope," Sirius said, stretching and leaning back against the couch. "Harry's off with the Weasleys for the rest of the week."

"Don't you have a lesson plan to write?"

Sirius snorted. "Oh, come on. I have a whole week before classes start, and it's not like anyone learns anything the first few weeks."

Remus said nothing. Of course Sirius would leave something as important as a lesson plan to the very last minute. When Remus was a teacher, he --

Well, that wasn't a very good subject for thought, was it? Remus shook his head to chase away the memories. He wasn't a Hogwarts professor anymore, and never would be again.

"Something wrong?"

Remus shook his head again. "Nothing. Just thinking."

"About the baby?"

Remus looked up. "What?"

"That's all you ever think about these days."

"Actually," Remus said slowly, "I was thinking about how little I'm contributing."

Sirius' eyebrows shot up. "What are you going on about?"

Remus only shook his head.

"Come on. Tell me."

"It's just that..."

Sirius leaned forward expectantly.

"I don't work. I don't make any money at all. I have no savings..."

"So what?"

"Don't you see? I moved into his rooms. I'm making him carry my baby. What am I doing for him?"

"Hey, he's the one who wanted you. He's got what he wanted."

"You know that's not what I meant. He's doing all the work. I'm useless. If he'd just let me help..."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "What work? Sleeping all day? You call that work?"

Remus glared at him and returned to his magazine.

"Fine, don't listen to me," Sirius said. "But if you ask me, you're putting up with more than you should."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Snape opened one eye a crack and took a quick look around.

Lupin was still in the chair next to him, half-hidden behind a magazine. Black was gone.

He pulled himself up, clearing his throat. "Why didn't you wake me?"

Lupin startled, almost dropping the magazine. He cleared his throat nervously. "I thought you could use some rest."

Snape scowled at him. "In the staffroom in the middle of the day?"

Lupin shrugged, looking at a loss.

Snape stood up, gathering the book he had been reading before the sudden need for sleep overtook him. "Never mind. The day is not wholly lost."

Lupin trailed after him out of the staffroom. "Was there something you wanted to do today, Severus?"

"I thought you wanted to work on the nursery. If you've changed your mind, I can certainly find other things to occupy my time."

Behind him, Lupin's footsteps halted. "I-I thought you didn't want to have anything to do with that."

Snape sniffed derisively, not pausing to wait for Lupin to catch up with him. "I'm not about to leave it up to you. Just now I had the most hideous vision of red walls and Gryffindor banners."

"But... you said..."

"I changed my mind," Snape said, turning to scowl at him. "Is there a problem?"

"No. No, of course not. I'm glad you want to be involved."

Sniffing derisively, Snape continued down the dungeon staircase, ignoring Lupin.

What a waste of a perfectly good afternoon. He could have spent it going one final time over the instructions he had prepared for the temporary Potions instructor, who was due to arrive within days. Instead, he was going to watch Lupin hang curtains and lay rugs.

But he couldn't let Lupin continue complaining to Black, could he? What did Lupin think he was doing, talking about their relationship behind his back?

Snape jerked open the door to his quarters, and stalked into the bedroom, then into the still barren nursery. "Well? What plans have you made?" he demanded, fixing Lupin with an impatient look.

"I--er, haven't made any plans yet," Lupin said, scratching his head. "I haven't had time, Severus. Is there something you want to see done?"

Snape turned to survey the room more closely.

"Get rid of those portraits," he said finally, pointing at two large gilded frames, whose occupants seemed to have gone for the moment.

Obediently, Lupin removed the portraits, leaving them leaning against one wall.

"The drapes are hideous."

Lupin took them down carefully, catching the cloud of dust with a flick of his wand. Another flick, and the drapes vanished altogether.

"The whole room will need to be scrubbed from floor to ceiling. The walls could use a fresh coat of paint."

Lupin nodded. "Yes. Do you happen to know where Filch keeps the paint?"

Snape stared at him in disgust. "Don't be ridiculous, Remus. This is work for house-elves. We can't do anything more today."

"We can pick out the colors."

"Not red."

"Not green."

Snape narrowed his eyes. "Did I suggest green?"

Lupin held up his hands defensively. "I didn't say you did. Perhaps a neutral shade of brown? Or a nice light blue?"

"Brown," Snape said flatly, turning to leave. "Fine."

Lupin trotted after him. "I'll arrange it. Would you like to choose furniture? And a rug?"

Snape halted in the doorway, forcing down his rising temper. "I believe there is a suitable shop in Hogsmeade. But it's too late to go today."

"Of course. Tomorrow, perhaps?"

"Tomorrow," Snape said reluctantly. Another day sacrificed.

Lupin seemed satisfied enough. Retiring to his study, Snape looked up occasionally to see him immersed in catalogues and magazines, which lay spread over the coffee table.

Lupin had nothing to complain about. What a ridiculous mood the man had got himself into!

Snape frowned, pushing aside his inkwell and quill and staring gloomily at his hands. Somehow, he had to make it clear to Lupin that he was not interested in sharing the care of the infant he currently carried. As soon as it was out, it would become Lupin's problem, and he had no intention of bothering about it again.

He had thought Lupin would be only too glad to have the thing to himself. He was the one who had wanted it, after all.

Now, given Lupin's behavior throughout the pregnancy and especially over the previous few days, he wasn't so certain.

He only hoped Lupin didn't harbor some mad expectation of caring for it together.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

(see next post)